Here come the viral curtain twitchers

Great to see the police have put a form up online so that we can report on breaches of lockdown rules…but, how do you know that your neighbour, for instance, is actually breaking the rules?

Say you have a keyworker living next door to you, but you didn’t know they are a keyworker. They leave their house entirely legitimately but more than once on a given day. The first time is as part of their important public service work, the second time to take some brief exercise around the local areas avoiding the incessant stream of new joggers on the paths that seem not to care about social distancing and spatter you with sweat as they plough through. Your neighbour was hoping to have a bit of a brain reboot during their exercise allowance to help them cope with the viral situation and the pressures of their work.

You log this in your little logbook from behind you twitching net curtain.

The police receive your report and assign a constable to check it out. They discover your neighbour was well within their rights to do their job and to take their daily exercise away from their home. An hour of that copper’s time less than well spent, one might suggest.

Meanwhile, a bunch of friends has gathered together in a back garden a few doors down. There’s music, but it’s quiet, for now. They’re having a barbecue to celebrate being furloughed on full pay and clinking glasses of punch, double dipping their tortilla chips in the hummus, and generally having a pathogenic time. One of them is looking a bit sweaty though and seems to be coughing a lot…but you can’t see any of that…

Author: 雷竞技官网

Award-winning freelance science writer, author of Deceived Wisdom. Sharp-shooting photographer and wannabe rockstar.